These Wounds Wont Seem To Heal
by You'll Never Know Why I do It
Summary: Dramione. Hermione is being raped and abused by her father. Draco is being abused by HIS father. Will they find solace in each other? Rated M for cutting, and adult themes. OC Draco, Hermione, Harry. Also Ron, Ginny, Molly, Dumbledore and Arther bashing.
1. Finding Out

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not Harry Potter, not Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, or even the house I'm sitting in. Just my measly little laptop I'm typing this on. I hope you enjoy this story, I wrote it just for you guys…

A/N: Sorry if it seems a little morbid.. That's just hw I'm feeling at the moment …. Enjoy:

He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. "Mmmm." He sighed, flopping down on the couch in the Common room they shared. He stared into the fire for about ten minutes just thinking about the day he'd had, what he could have done better, and what he liked about it. He did this every night, it helped him clear his head so that he could go to sleep without anything bothering him.

A faint cry startled him out of his thoughts. He looked up and around, but nothing caught his eye, and he didn't hear anything else, so he went back to staring into the fire and thinking. Then he heard it again, but it sounded like sobs now.

He stood up and walked over to the Head Girls room and pressed his ear against the door quietly. Sure enough, he could hear hysterical crying coming from inside the room. While he was listening, they calmed down to slight hiccupping, and then he heard loud music playing.

_"Don't look at me…_

_Mmmmmmm, oohhh. Mmm, ahhh, mmm. _

_Every day, is so wonderful, and suddenly, it's hard to breathe. Now and then, I get insecure. From all the pain. I'm so ashamed. I am beautiful, no mater what they say, words can't bring me down. I am beautiful, in every single way, yes words can't bring me down, oh no. So don't you bring me down, today. Mmmmm. Mm. To all your friends, you're delirious, so consumed…"_

He cracked open the door a little, and was shocked at what he saw. She was sitting on the bed with a knife in her hands. A beautiful knife. It was silver, with a jewel encrusted silver handle. As he watched, the song changed, and a slightly more upbeat song came on.

"_I need another story, something to get off my chest. My life gets kind of boring, need something that I can confess, till all my sleeves are stained red, from all the truth I said…"_

As the song started playing, she pressed the knife to her arm and pressed down firmly and dragged the blade across her wrist, hissing slightly at the pain it caused. She closed her eyes as the blood dripped from her arm. The feeling obviously brought along a slight euphoria, because she was smiling slightly now, as the tears dried on her face.

He stood at the doorway in disbelief. How could she do this to herself? It was … Understandable. He thought, as he unconsciously traced the thin scars underneath his long shirt sleeve. He looked down and sighed. The slight noise alerted the girl who's eyes snapped open. The music had stopped and she had heard him.

He mouth opened to a slight 'O' and she rushed to hide her wrist and the blood as well as her knife. But it was too late. He had seen her.

She started babbling random things to him, trying to make up excuses. But he wasn't listening. What should he do? Ovliviate her? No. That would be cruel.

"I'll just show her mine." He thought.

He took a deep breath and walked into the room. She continued yelling at him, telling him to get out and that if he told anyone she'd make his life a living Hell.

He lifted a finger to his lips, effectively quieting her. He took that same hand and pulled up his left sleeve, then his right. He bared his wrists to her.

She stood there gaping. Wondering how someone else could do that to themselves. She wasn't alone. Someone else felt the pain she did too. It brought tears to her eyes.

"You…you do it too?" She asked haltingly. Not wanting it to be true, but at the same time, not wanting to be alone.

"Yes." He whispered.

She started crying again. "But, but why?"

He sighed. "My Father. He .. He beats me, and my Mother.. And I just feel so hopeless. And it helps a little. With the pain. It makes me feel alive. I can escape to my own little world and forget about the pain he's caused me for a little while…What abut you?"

She hadn't expected him to be so honest. Now she would have to be.

She took a deep breath, "it started when I was four .. My Dad would come into my room to play a game. He'd climb into bed with me, wake me up. And start …-"

She took anther deep shuddering breath-

"-…he'd put my hand down his pants and tell me what to do. He told me that all little girls did this for their Fathers, that it was just a part of growing up. Well, a few years later, I realized that it was NOT normal. But by then he'd moved on from just having me touch him. He'd come into my room and rape me. Every night. Every. Night. I was eight. Eight years old … Practically a baby … Then, my parents got a divorce. My Dad told me that if I told my Mom I wanted to live with her he'd kill us both. So I told her I wanted to live with "Daddy" that I'd be okay. It was the biggest lie I ever told. You see, she didn't know that Daddy Dearest was raping and molesting me. Otherwise she would have moved out earlier.. I hope. Anyways, after my Mom moved out, he stopped being so secretive about it and started raping me during the day, on the sofa, in the hallway... He started hitting me when I did the silliest things like forget to put the cap back on the toothbrush, or read a book. Or watch TV when he was at work. Or if his coffee wasn't hot enough in the morning. Or if it was too hot… I was fourteen when I started cutting. It felt amazing. It was the first thing I had control of. Then I started making myself throw up. It wasn't easy … At first, because I hadn't been eating, nothing would come up. But he was starting to notice that I wasn't eating, and he'd beat me for that too. So I ate in front of him, then I'd stick my finger down my throat when I was all alone in the bathroom and feel better. I had control. Over my body…"

He had no idea. That this "perfect" girl. Was no so perfect after all. She had not cried throughout her whole story. She seemed far away, as if she was re-living all of these horrible things.

"I'm so sorry, I had no ide-"

She continued as if she hadn't heard a thing he said, "… I loved coming to Hogwarts. It was my escape. He could send me as many threatening letters as he wanted. He couldn't hurt me until Summer. And boy did he. I'd come home every Summer and he'd be sitting there. On the couch. Waiting. He'd tell me to put all of my stuff away in my room. To take my time. "But don't take too long." He'd add, with a smirk. I'd put everything away with trembling hands and he'd walk up to my room. He'd tell me he missed me. Ask me if I enjoyed the year away. I told him every time that "It was fun, but I'm glad to be home." That's the second biggest lie I've ever told. Oh how I wished we didn't have to go home during the Summer. While he was on top of me, in me. I'd think of reasons to go visit Ron or Harry during the Summer. None of them seemed good enough. But it was a way for me to escape reality for a while… To forget. "

She laughed bitterly. "So now I'm seventeen. A legal adult here in the Wizarding World. And I've decided I'm not going back to that Hellhole. I don't know where I'm going to go… Just not back there.."

She trailed off. He walked over to her, she was now standing up, facing him. Her arms crossed. A defiant look on her face. He gathered her up in his arms and sat down on her bed, with her sitting on his lap. She started crying again and he rubbed her back, calming her slightly. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent deeply. It was warm and inviting. Vanilla and strawberries.

She stood up abruptly. As if just remembering something. "Why are you in here? Showing me your scars? Telling me your story? Making me tell you mine? … Hugging me … You never cared before… What changed?"

"I don't know Hermione," Draco replied. "I really don't know."

A/N: Sorry, I was tired of writing for the night. Hopefully I'll have more up soon. Tell me what you think please. I love reviews. I hope you liked it … It was based off my daydreams/slight truth.


	2. Live Like There's No Tomorrow

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Just my daydreams and my green sparkly bracelet.

A/N: So, I was bored. And I write when I'm bored (and I have the right music, of course), so here you go..

**Previously On: These Wounds Wont Seem To Heal: **_She stood up abruptly. As if just remembering something. "Why are you in here? Showing me your scars? Telling me your story? Making me tell you mine? … Hugging me … You never cared before… What changed?"_

_"I don't know Hermione," Draco replied. "I really don't know."_

"Soo.." Hermione said, "what are we now? I mean, we were enemies twenty minutes ago, and now we're sharing secrets nobody has ever heard before…"

"Yeah," Draco sighed. "Bloody hell, I don't know what we're going to do .. Why don't we call a truce?"

"A … Truce?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, it's where we agree to get along kind of." Draco smirked.

"I know what a truce is, thank you very much." Hermione seethed.

Draco laughed. "I know you do, I was just having some fun."

Hermione gave a small smile.

"See?" Draco said with a grin, "I've already got you smiling. I'm awesome like that."

Hermione shook her head, fighting back a large grin. Draco noticed and smirked, walking towards her with a playful grin on his face.

"Are you ticklish Ms. Granger?" He asked biting his lip innocently.

"Um, no!" Hermione said way too quickly. "Why would I b-be ticklish?"

Draco tried to swallow a laugh that was blooming. "Because you're acting very ticklish."

Hermione turned bright red and she tried to look for an escape, but by then he had her pinned against the bed, his devilish smirk planted on his face.

He leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "are you sure you're not ticklish?"

His cool breath brushed her ear and she shivered at the feelings it stirred up. He grabbed her arms and laid then out above her head, keeping a firm grip on her wrists. Hermione started to panic. This reminded her too much of her nightly encounters with her Father. 'Just keep your eyes open and stay in reality.' She told herself. 'It's not John. It's Draco.'

She started to calm down a little, she closed her eyes, breathing slowly and deeply. Draco, not having noticed any of her dilemmas or remembering the trauma she went through, leaned forward and kissed her slowly and passionately. Hermione sucked in a sharp breath and her eyes flew open.

She started to jerk away when she realized that in Draco's kisses, so very different from her fathers, she felt safe. She relaxed a bit and started kissing him back.

Suddenly Draco leapt off of her and across the room, he stood against the wall. Hermione sat up with tears in her eyes,

"What did I do wrong?" A few tears trickled down her rosy cheeks. Her lips were red and puffy from the kiss. Draco's heart almost broke to see her like this.

"It isn't anything you did Hermione," he said quietly.

"So what is it then?" She asked defiantly.

"Me." He said looking down, "I forgot about .. Well.. You know. And I thought maybe I was going too fast .. I didn't want you to .. think it was him or something when it was really me…" He trailed off, still looking at his feet.

Hermione got up off the bed and walked towards him slowly. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on his lips. Draco responded slowly at first, and then he hungrily thrust his tongue into her mouth, turned them around and pressed her up against the wall.

"Wait-" Hermione said breathlessly, pushing him away lightly. He immediately backed up, thinking he'd gone too far again.

"No, no. It's fine." Hermione said lightly. "It's just. Yesterday. We hated each other. Today we're snogging against a wall…?"

Draco laughed. "I don't get it either, all I know is that I'm attracted to you, and I know you feel the same, otherwise you would have hexed me into next week for even stepping into your room."

Hermione grinned, "well I don't deny that. But .. Really, what are we going to do? I mean, Harry, Ron, and Ginny hate you.." A small frown graced her face.

"We'll figure it out somehow." Draco assured her.

He led them over to the bed and Hermione flopped down on it, looking up at the ceiling, Draco laying next to her.

"Um.. Hermione?" Draco asked after a few minutes.

"Yes?" She asked, turning her head towards him slightly.

"Why .. Um. Why are you so .. Comfortable with me right now? After all you've been through. I'd be hiding in the closet if I had to go through half as much as you did. You kissed me. You kissed me back. You're laying in bed with me right now. Doesn't it seem like it's going a little fast?"

Hermione mulled this over for a bit and then answered carefully, "I don't … I don't know. When you kissed me at first, I panicked a little,-"

Draco looked ashamed.

"-but then I cleared my head and remembered it was you. Not my father John. But you, Draco. And I felt safe. As if nothing could hurt me ever again. And yes, it seems a little fast maybe, but with what we've been through, we both know that we have to live like there's no tomorrow, because quite literally, there could be no tomorrow."

Draco was quiet for a bit, and Hermione thought she had offended him. And then he spoke, "Hermione. Do you want to go out with me?"

Hermione sat up quickly. "Um, what?"

"Well," Draco said, sitting up as well, "you said yourself, we have to live like there's no tomorrow. So .." He trailed off nervously.

Hermione studied him for a moment, trying to figure out if this was some sort of joke. Yes, they had kissed, well, snogged is more like it. And shown each other their scars, and told their deepest darkest secrets, but did that make it okay for them to date? Yes. She thought. Yes it did.

"Yes." Hermione said firmly.

"I- … What?" Draco looked surprised.

"Yes, I've decided yes. We've shared our secrets and scars .. And I think we should. I mean, who cares what other people think. We're adults now. It's not up to anyone else… I think we should give 'us' a chance."

Draco seemed to glow with happiness. "You wont regret this, Hermione." He murmured, pulling her into a hug. "I'll make you safe and happy."

"So far, you have. And I thank you for that." She said with a small smile on her face.

A/N: Soooo.. Uhm. This didn't turn out how I thought it was going to, because I was making it up as I went. The first chapter was based off a true story, so it was easier to create something off of it. So anyways, I hope you like it though, I do.


	3. Happy?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Just the plot of this story andd … Yeah, that's about it.

A/N: Sooo, I hope you like it! I was bored and in a bad mood, so music on and Microsoft Word open.

_**Previously On: These Wounds Wont Seem To Heal: **__Draco seemed to glow with happiness. "You wont regret this, Hermione." He murmured, pulling her into a hug. "I'll make you safe and happy."_

"_So far, you have. And I thank you for that." She said with a small smile on her face. _

Hermione sat up in bed and yawned, stretching her arms above her head and smiling at the sun shining through the curtains on her windows. It took her a moment to figure out why she was so happy this morning. Usually she wasn't. But then she remembered, Draco. She smiled again. Sure, things started off weird. But now she was dating him. She was grinning ear to ear now, she couldn't help it. She was just so happy.

She bounced out of bed and into her bathroom to take a shower. While she was scrubbing herself down in the shower, she thought about stuff. About her father, and about her mother. About Draco, and about what she was going to tell her friends.

"Mmmmm." She sighed. "Too many thoughts.." She muttered.

She finished rinsing her hair and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel from the rack as she did so. She towel dried her body then examined herself in the mirror. He body wasn't all that bed, she supposed. It was only the third day back at school so she still had a lot of bruises, but if you looked past those. Her breasts were of average size. Her arms were pretty thin. She didn't have a double chin. Her face was clear and her eyes were beautiful. Her eyebrows were perfect without her having to do anything to them. Her hair was really bushy, but she could fix that with a simple spell. Her teeth were perfect, thanks to that accident.

Her legs and her belly though. Those were the two things on her body that she hated with a burning passion. Even though she didn't eat all that much, and what she did eat she threw up, her legs were still too big in her opinion. They were okay she supposed, until they got up to her thigh area. Then they got a little bigger and that frustrated her to no end. And no matter how many sit-ups and crunches she did, she still had kind of a belly.

She just wanted to chop all the fat off.

"Humph." She sighed, looking sideways in the mirror. Well she couldn't do anything about it now. She spoke a simple spell to dry her hair and walked back into her bedroom, still naked.

She walked over to her dresser and chose a pair of black knickers and a matching bra as well as a pair of knee length rainbow socks. She pulled on her underclothes and then thought about what she was going to wear under her robes. It was a Friday, so they could wear whatever they wanted. She decided on a pair of form-fitting, but not too tight dark blue skinny jeans and a long-sleeve dark green shirt with finger holes so her sleeves wouldn't slip up and show her scars and fresh cuts.

She walked over to her closet and pulled out a pair of ratty black Converse hightops and slipped them on over her rainbow socks. She sat down on her bed and laced them up quickly.

She walked back into her bathroom to do her make-up.

She quickly applied eye-liner and mascara and some mint chap-stick, and spoke a simple spell to straighten her extremely bushy hair.

"Well." She murmured, "it's not going to get any better then this."

She went back into her room one last time to get her book-bag, before walking out, and down the stairs.

She met Draco in the common room they shared. He looked amazing. He was wearing a fitted black button-up dress shirt and a pair of dark skinny jeans paired with a pair of black Vans. Hermione was surprised that he wore Muggle brands. She shrugged, shaking the thoughts from her head. She flopped down next to him on the couch and they sat there in silence for about ten minutes.

"So-" Hermione started, looking straight forward, at the fireplace.

Draco looked up from a book on his lap, "yes?"

"Well…you um. You showed me your scars, but. You showed me your … scars … do you still cut. Or .. What..?"

Draco took a deep breath and set the book he had been reading aside on his book bag. "I haven't cut in three weeks."

Hermione was still staring forward. "Do you think about doing it again?"

"Every day." He replied softly.

"Is it hard… to not cut?" She asked quietly.

"Yes. Very. And some days, it's not worth it. I long to feel the cool blade against my skin. The immediate relief it brings…"

"So, why'd you stop?" She asked quizzically. "If it's so hard."

"I don't know." He replied. "I honestly don't know. I got too busy maybe. I'm too tired at the end of the day to feel anything but … tired… And if I feel the need to cut during the day, I distract myself until I'm alone, but by then I'm so tired that … well. You know. I don't cut."

Hermione was quiet for a few moments. "Well. Would you ever cut again?"

"At the moment, I don't know." He sighed.

"Oh. Hmm." She said thoughtfully.

He sat up and looked sideways at her. "Why are you so interested, anyway?"

"I dunno." She replied. "I've just never run into anyone else who cuts, so its interesting to me. Well. Not interesting per say, just … yeah … interesting."

"Oh. Hmm." Draco said thoughtfully.

"No copying." Hermione said sticking her tongue out at him.

Draco smiled. "I can do whatever I want. I'm the "Prince of Slytherin," remember?" He smirked.

"Whatever." Hermione said grumpily, flopping down with her arms crossed.

"Aw, I didn't mean to upset you," Draco said, rolling his eyes.

Hermione glared for a moment then burst out laughing. "I'm sorry!" She gasped between giggles. "I tried to keep a straight face, but it didn't work." She frowned. "I can't keep a straight face for anything to save my life."

Draco looked puzzled, Hermione, seeing his look, explained. "It's a Muggle saying. It doesn't really mean anything." She said laughing.

"Ohh, okay." Draco said, still not understanding, but deciding it wasn't worth trying to figure out.

"Anyway," Hermione said briskly. "We should get to class. We have Potions first, and Snape might be lenient on YOU, but I'm the "Mudblood Know-It-All", he'd have way too much fun punishing me if I was late."

Draco nodded, wincing at the nick-name, and answered, "yeah, I'll meet you there, I have to get my book-bag." Hermione nodded, already halfway out the portrait hole, book bag in hand.

_A/N: So, in case you haven't noticed, they're both veryyyy OC. I'll start introducing other people in the next chapter. Sorry this took so long to get out. I lost my inspiration for a while. I hope you liked it, please review. _


	4. Secrets And Lies

A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's taken so long for me to update, um … Stuff came up … So, anyways, on with the story, yeah?

Hermione walked to the Great Hall deep in thought. The whole thing with Draco would take some getting used to. She was .. Dating him now. It was odd. She'd never really dated anyone before. It was a new experience that she was happy to try. The past few years she had felt horribly alone. The sexual and physical abuse had made her hesitant and afraid to connect with anyone.

She thought back to the conversation her and Draco had when they were in the common room that morning. When she walked down the stairs, she hadn't expected to have that deep of a conversation. Maybe exchange good mornings and a kiss. Not talk more about cutting. Hermione thought about it for a second, mulling over their entire conversation. Then realized something. Draco had had his book bag next to him on the couch. He had placed the book he was reading on it when she'd started talking. So .. If he hadn't gone to get his book bag … What was he doing? And … Why had he lied about it?

Hermione decided it was no big deal. And it wasn't any of her business anyway. She could ask him about it later.

She walked into the Great Hall and started looking around for Harry and Ron immediately.

"Herms!" She heard Ron shout. Hermione rolled her eyes. She hated that nick-name. She'd told Ron that multiple times, but he'd never listened.

She walked over to where Harry, Ron and Ginny were sitting cautiously. She didn't know what to expect. She hadn't seen them much over the past three days. Either she'd been locked up in her room claiming she had reading to catch up on, or Harry and Ron had been playing one on one games of Quidditch.

She smiled and sat down. "Hey guys." She said in a happy voice, even though her thoughts were in turmoil.

They didn't notice the fakeness. Just smiled back and said their own hellos.

While they piled their plates full of wonderful food, Hermione only took one piece of buttered toast and three strawberries.

"Hermione," Ginny said worriedly. "Aren't you going to eat anymore then that?"

Hermione looked up from pouring herself a half glass of Pumpkin Juice. "Oh, um. No, I wasn't feeling very good this morning. A little nauseous. I don't want to be sick the first week of school, so I'm going to take it easy for a bit."

Ginny excepted this and went back to her plate piled with food and Hermione let out a small smile of relief. Hermione looked around at all of the students enjoying themselves. They looked as happy as Hermione had felt that morning. She wished that the feeling would stay longer then it did.

She took a bite of toast, and ate a strawberry. She thought about her body in the mirror this morning and immediately lost her appetite. She put her fork down. She felt sick to her stomach.

'No.' She thought to herself. 'I don't want to do this anymore. I can't.'

She took a deep breath and picked up her toast again. She couldn't make herself eat it.

'It's going to make you fat.' A little voice inside her head told her.

'I need food to survive.' She reasoned with herself.

'You already ate.' She told herself. 'You don't need to eat any more.'

'That's true,' she thought to herself.

She set the toast down again. She still felt sick.

"Hey guys, I just remembered. I need a book from the library, I'll see you in class."

They nodded and went back to stuffing their faces. Hermione leapt up from her chair and, grabbing her book-bag, ran out of the Great Hall.

With one hand covering her mouth, she ran to the nearest loo. She was in such a rush, she wasn't looking where she was going and barreled right into someone.

"Woah there!" Said a familiar voice. He held her and kept her from falling over. "Where are you going in such a rush?" Draco asked.

Hermione shook her head and ripped free of his grasp. "N- nowhere," she stuttered. She looked to her right and saw a girls bathroom. She bolted through it and barely made it into one of the stalls before what little she'd eaten for breakfast came up.

Tears were streaming down her face as she threw up into the toilet basin. Suddenly she felt cool a cool hand brush her neck and hold her hair back so it wouldn't get dirty, while another one rubbed her back in soothing patterns.

She finished retching and shakily wiped her mouth with one of her hands. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the tears. The person, whoever it was, was still rubbing her back. It calmed her slightly.

When she managed to control herself she flushed the toilet and turned around slowly to see Draco Malfoy staring back at her.

"Oh .. Hey." She said weakly.

Draco continued staring at her. They looked at each other for about two minutes without saying anything. Then Draco held out a hand and helped her to her feet. He spoke a spell to clean her up and then looked back into the stall, then once again, to Hermione.

"How much did you eat at breakfast?" He asked her quietly.

Hermione looked down at her feet. He put a hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. He saw the tears welling up in her eyes again and added "Please tell me?" He looked broken. As if he was about to cry as well.

She pulled her face out of his grip and muttered something.

"I'm sorry." Draco murmured. "I didn't catch that."

Hermione glared.

"A bite of toast and a strawberry." She said a little louder.

Draco frowned. "And then you came in here and threw it up."

It was a statement more then a question. Hermione looked at the floor again.

"Hermione-" Draco started.

"I'm fine." She said sharply.

"No, don't lie to me. I know you're not." Draco said sternly.

"Oh," Hermione said bitterly. "You want to talk about lying? Hmm? What about you? Huh? This morning. You said that you were going to get your book-bag. But it was right next to you. Why'd you stay behind? Why'd you lie to me?"

Draco looked ashamed. "I- I'm sorry I lied. But it's different… I was .. I .. " A few tears trickled down from his eyes.

Hermione was concerned now. Draco looked helpless now. She felt bad. She hadn't meant to make him cry.

"Draco," she whispered, she took a step towards him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Draco shook his head. "No, it's fine."

Hermione studied him for a moment and looked him head to toe, trying to figure out what was wrong. While she was doing this, he lifted his arm up to wipe at his eyes. His sleeve slid up to expose his wrist.

Hermione gasped lightly. Now she knew what he had been doing when he told her he was getting his bag.

She grabbed his wrist and pulled the sleeve up a bit. She saw the angry red lines that were so familiar to her, on his arms. Up and down them. Crisscrossing and zigzagging. They were all over. She turned his arm over and saw them on the outside of his wrist too. And just as many there as on the inside.

He ripped his arm out of her grasp and pulled his sleeve down.

"Draco," she started.

"Don't." He said quietly, turning away.

"Draco," She said again. Hermione started crying. "Oh my god, Draco, I'm so sorry. I brought it up. You hadn't done it in three weeks. You were almost better. You were trying to be better. And I brought it up. I'm a horrible person. It's all my fault. Draco. I'm so, so, so sorry."

Draco turned around quickly and scooped the sobbing Hermione up into his arms.

"It's not your fault Hermione," he whispered into her ear. "Don't you ever think that. Ever. It was my choice. I had been thinking about it before you even walked downstairs. You're not a horrible person. It wasn't your fault. I wasn't better. Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault. You're a wonderful person Hermione. Okay?" He rubbed her back gently.

Hermione's sobs quieted into hiccups and she looked up at his concerned face. "I'm not a wonderful person. And I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," He whispered, kissing her softly. He whispered into her lips, "you never have to be sorry to me about anything, ever. Okay?"

Hermione nodded, leaning into the kiss and sighing.

"We have to get to class," Draco said apologetically.

Hermione wrinkled her nose in irritation. "I guess." She sighed.

"Come on," Draco laughed. "I'll walk you."

A/N: Soooo.. It didn't turn out the way I thought it was going to. But I like it I think. Review please. Thank you.


	5. Detention

Disclaimer: I own nothing…On with the story, yeah?

_**Read the A/N at the bottom please. Thank you! Enjoy. Sorry it's so short..**_

Hermione walked into Potions, her eyes still slightly red from crying in the bathroom.

"So, Miss. Granger. You think you can just walk in late to my class? Detention at seven." Snape glared.

Hermione nodded. She could skip dinner that way, and no one would get suspicious.

She sat down next to Harry and Ron, and pulled out her Potions Homework from the day before as well as her Potions book.

"Turn to page three-seventy-four." Severus hissed, beginning class.

Hermione sighed as she stood up from her desk in the Transfiguration classroom. Last class of the day. Detention soon.

Ron looked over at Hermione, "hey Herms, don't you have detention in an hour?"

"Yeah," Hermione muttered.

"Just enough time to have supper with us!" He exclaimed.

"Sorry guys," Hermione shrugged, "I have to go look something up in the library, and then I have to get changed and walk to the dungeons. Maybe tomorrow." She said as she walked out.

"Yeah," said Ron, looking at her calculatingly as she left the room.

Hermione ran up to the Heads Dorm and breathlessly spoke her password, "the first cut is the deepest."

The portrait looked down at Hermione's wrists, frowning, before letting her into her Common Room. Hermione looked around, didn't see Draco, so she bolted up to the bathroom they shared and tossed her book bag to the floor and knelt in front of the toilet basin.

It wasn't hard to get herself to throw up. At first it was. But now it was almost too easy. She started throwing up, and she tasted that familiar bile-y taste from not having any food to throw up.

She wiped her mouth, and was preparing to stand up when she heard the door open, and a soft gasp.

Hermione whirled around to see Draco in the doorway. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, she realized that she had forgotten to lock the door, and he had seen her. Yet again, making herself throw up. She closed her eyes, willing the tears not to fall.

She stood up shakily, flushed the toilet and walked out the other door. She looked back once, to see Draco's face covered in tears, his sleeves up, showing his fresh cuts.

She rushed back over to him, and grabbed her book bag, rummaging around in it for a moment. She pulled out her knife.

"If you cut again." She whispered, "I cut again."

Draco stood there for a moment. Hermione could see his hands shaking as he thought about what she said.

He looked up. "I'm s-sorry," He said, "I … I can't not do it.." He backed up and out of the bathroom, not making eye contact with her. As he stumbled out, he dropped a piece of parchment on the floor. He didn't stop to pick it up, but continued out, and into his room.

Hermione picked up the bit of parchment and read in in socked silence:

_Draco._

_Your Mother had an accident. _

_Fell down the stairs at Malfoy Manor. _

_She passed away at St. Mungo's early this morning. _

_The only reason I kept you around was because of her. _

_Don't bother coming to the Funeral. _

_I have disowned you._

_Lucius Malfoy_

Hermione knocked on Draco's door. She heard a muffled "Go away."

"I'm going to Detention, I'll see you later…" She called softly through the door.

She ran to the Dungeons and made it right on time. Hermione knocked on the Dungeon door. Snapes cold voice answered.

"Come in."

Hermione opened the door cautiously. She walked into the stone room and stood awkwardly in the doorway, waiting for her instructions.

"Clean the cauldrons I've left out for you." Snape said in a bored manner, not looking up from the homework he was grading. "Without Magic."

Hermione rolled up her sleeves as she walked over to the cauldrons, grabbing a scrub brush off a nearby table as she passed it.

She neat down beside the first one and stated scrubbing.

Severus walked up to Hermione, about halfway through detention.

"Ms. Granger." He started, Hermione looked up, she took a hand out of the cauldron to brush some hair out of her eyes.

Snapes eyes flicked to Hermione's wrist. Where the thin white scars and glaring red cuts were visible. Hermione quickly rolled her sleeves down again.

"Y-yes?" She asked shakily.

"Nothing, Granger." He said softly. "That is all, you may go."

Hermione stood up hurriedly and almost ran out of the dungeons in her haste to get away from him.

Snape watched her go. A pained look on his face. Now that was two that he knew of. Draco Malfoy had come to him the year before last and showed him the cuts on his wrist. Severus hadn't been able to help him. But maybe he'd have more luck with Hermione Granger.

A/N: Sorry this took so long, guys. Hope you liked it more then I do. I have gotten the request for longer chapters. I know this one is shorter then my previous ones, I'm sorry. So, I have an idea. Would you like longer chapters, every three weeks to a month? Or shorter chapters every one to three weeks. Whichever one gets more votes is what I'll do. Thanks!


	6. Detention Again

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long guys, I was …. Busy.. and I couldn't use my computer for a while. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Hermione walked back to the Common room shakily. Had Snape seen? Would he tell anyone? Only time would tell Hermione supposed.

She got to the portrait and whispered the password, letting her in.

Hermione walked up to Draco's room and knocked on the door lightly.

"Draco?" She said, "are you in there?"

She heard soft footsteps, and stood back a little as Draco opened the door.

"May I come in?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said hoarsely, he'd obviously been crying.

She walked into his room and stood awkwardly, just inside the doorway.

"So.. How are you?" She asked. She winced as soon as she said that. It was a stupid question. His Mother had just died.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Hermione murmured, walking forward and hugging him.

He stiffened at first, then relaxed, hugging her back. He started crying softly into her shoulder. She hugged him tightly. Not wanting to let him go. The hug was as comforting for her as it was for him.

She wanted to tell him about Snape's discovery, but she didn't want him to feel like everything as always about her. She wanted him to feel like he could open up to her too.

She decided that she would tell him if Snape mentioned it again. Which she doubted he would.

They fell asleep in each others arms that night. Taking comfort in each other. In their times of need.

One month later, they were still dating. They hadn't tried to go any further then just kissing. Neither of them felt the need to.

Nobody knew about them yet. Harry, Ron and Ginny remained perfectly oblivious to the fact that Hermione and Draco were dating and Hermione and Draco were fine with that.

It was a Wednesday when Hermione walked into Potions class late again. Snape looked up from teaching just long enough to hiss,

"Detention, six o'clock, Miss. Granger, don't be late.'

Hermione rolled her eyes and sat down next to Ron.

"Why were you late?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"I was reading in the library and got distracted." Hermione lied.

"Yeah, okay. Sure." Rod snorted.

"what's that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked hotly.

"It's just that you've been acting really secretive lately." Ron whispered, "I've seen you hanging around Malfoy." He sneered at the name.

"Hanging around Malfoy?" Hermione asked indignantly, "we share the same dorm, what do you expect-"

"Miss. Granger!" Snape snapped. "Stop interrupting my classroom! Detention tomorrow as well. Six o'clock. Now, class, turn to page 364."

Hermione glared at Ron and turned to the aforementioned page, reading angrily for the rest of the class time."

Hermione looked at her watch, it was five forty, and if she hurried, she could make it to detention on time.

She put down her book, kissed Draco goodbye, and walked out of the portrait hole.

On her way down to the dungeons, she thought about what Snape would have her do. He made her wash cauldrons, and that wasn't that big of a deal, but then he had seen her scars, and now it was awkward.

She paused in her musings, and looked up to find herself in front of Snapes classroom.

She sighed, steeled herself, and then knocked on his door.

The door swung open seconds later, Snape was sitting in his chair behind his desk, and there was one chair in front of it.

Hermione paused on her way into the classroom, confused.

"Come in, Granger, and take a seat." He said quietly.

Hermione sat down on the chair in front of his desk, it was surprisingly comfortable.

She looked up at him expectantly. He looked… Worried, almost.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Miss. Granger. The last detention you had. About a month ago, I saw something….Worrisome."

Hermione froze.

"Now," he continued. "I understand that you are entitled to your privacy, but I must know, do you have any thoughts about … Ending your own life?"

Hermione felt tears welling up in her eyes. She forced them down.

"Professor," she cleared her throat, "with all due respect, that is none of your business."

Snape nodded.

Hermione stood up to go, "now, if that is all, I'm leaving."

"He was a sixth year." Snape stopped.

Hermione paused on her way out the door,

"please sit back down, Miss. Granger."

Hermione walked back to her chair and sat down.

"He looked happy on the outside. He had many friends. He was a very normal looking boy." Snape cleared his throat. "His parents were abusive, though. He had a brother and a sister. He had a girlfriend. Her name was Jane. None of them knew what he was feeling on the inside. He was a normal looking boy… One day, the abuse at home got too much. He left a note, saying that he couldn't take it anymore and that it wasn't anyone's fault. That he just wasn't strong enough… He was only sixteen. He committed suicide on December second, 1975. Neither his sister or his brother knew what he was planning.. I didn't know what he was planning. I should have, he was my brother. My brother."

Hermione gasped. "I'm so sorry, professor."

"So you see why I want to know?" Her Professor continued, "I don't want anyone else to have to go through what I went through."

Hermione looked down at her lap, formulizing an answer.

"I … Of course I've thought about committing suicide. Who hasn't? But I'd never act on it. Not now…"

"What do you mean, not now?" Snape asked quizzically. "What changed?"

"You have to promise me you wont tell anyone. Please. Especially not Ron, Harry or Ginny."

Severus nodded.

"Draco and I … Started dating a few weeks ago. And it's helped both of us.. You know, with our problems."

"So you've both stopped cutting?" Snape asked.

Hermione froze. She didn't' ask how he knew about Draco.

"No. We've … Tried. Both of us have. But it's the only way we know how to deal with stuff… you know? And with my parents being the way they are.. You know.. And … I just need to."

"And what do you mean by that Miss. Granger? What's wrong with your parents?"

Hermione laughed bitterly. "What isn't, would be the more appropriate question."

Severus observed Hermione for a few moments, then asked hesitantly. "Have your parents ever laid a hand on you Miss. Granger-"

"Hermione." Hermione interrupted.

"What?" Asked Snape.

"My name is Hermione, Professor." She explained.

"Okay then.. Hermione. Then my name is Severus to you."

Hermione nodded.

So," Severus continued, "have your parents ever laid a hand on you in a less then friendly way?"

"You mean is my father raping me and throwing me down stairs and beating me so black and blue I can't walk for a week? And is my Mom ignorant to it?" Hermione spat. "Has my Dad. My father. Gotten my pregnant before? Has he punched me so hard in the stomach that it died? Has he violated me in more ways then I can count? Yes. Severus. My Dad has laid a hand on me in a less then friendly way."

Severus was taken aback. His parents were abusive as well, he unconsciously traced his own self inflicted scars under the table as he listened to Hermione rant. He could understand why she would do it. But he didn't want her to ruin her life like he had almost ruined his. He didn't want her to one day follow through with her suicidal thoughts.

"Hermione. How long has this been going on?" Severus asked gently.

"I dunno." She muttered. "Since I was four I think.."

Snape took a deep shuddering breath. She was only a baby.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be." Hermione interrupted. "It's fine."

"No, it's not fine." Snape snapped.

"Yeah, it is," she returned, "it's not that big of a deal. It happened. Oh well. Shit happens."

Severus stared at her in disbelief. She had to be lying. Putting on a brave front for him. Well obviously. He rolled his eyes at himself.

"Well Hermione," he checked his watch, "it's eight o'clock, you should get going. I'll see you tomorrow at six o'clock sharp."

Hermione stood up and walked out, slamming the door as she did so.

A/N: Hey guys, sorry again for the long wait. Hope it was slightly worth it. It'll get more interesting … I hope. Lol.


	7. Love and Other Things

Hermione walked back to the common room, tears running down her face. She couldn't stop them. She whispered the password to the common room and stepped inside. She collapsed on the floor, sobbing. Talking to Severus had brought back a lot of traumatic memories she had been trying to suppress.

She felt warm arms gathering her up and holding her close. She heard a soothing voice whispering comforting words in her ear. She felt a gentle hand rubbing circles on her back. Hermione leaned into Draco and tried to stop crying.

He picked her up and carried her into his bedroom and laid them both down on his bed, still holding her close and soothing her.

She slowly calmed down enough so that Draco could ask her what happened.

"What happened?" He asked, trying to stay calm, "did he hurt you?"

"No," Hermione muttered. "He was just talking to me... About... My past.. And..."

"Shh," Draco murmured, "it's fine. I understand."

Hermione snuggled into him. Craving his warmth.

They cuddled together for about an hour. Just laying there in peace, in each others company. And that was enough for them. Having been abused all their lives they just needed someone they could trust, and they found that in each other.

After about an hour of silence, Hermione looked up at Draco. He was staring down at her, with a weird look on his face.

"What?" Hermione asked, sitting up.

"Nothing." Draco started. "It's just that... I love you."

Hermione stared at him for a moment. That was the first time he'd said it to her.

"I...I love you too." She replied.

"I don't want you to tell me you love me just because I told you that." Draco said quietly. "I don't want to force it out of you. I just wanted you to know. I love you."

Hermione leaned forward and kissed him deeply on the lips.

"I." She kissed him again. "Love." Again. "You." She threw one leg over his waist so that she was straddling him and started kissing him again. He responded eagerly.

He flipped them so that he was on top and drew her shirt up over her head. She pulled his up and off of him as well.

Draco paused for a moment and then looked at her.

"I don't want to force you into anything," he said, "but if we continue like this I'm not going to be able to stop, so if you're uncomfortable, tell me."

Hermione responded by un-zipping his jeans.

Draco smiled down at her. "I love you," he said, right before he leaned in for another kiss.

Hermione woke up the next morning to Draco staring at her.

"Hello?" She said.

Draco blushed. "I'm sorry," he smiled, "it's just that you're beautiful in the mornings. Well, you're beautiful all the time, but even more so right now."

Hermione smiled up at him. "Thank you." She leaned up and kissed him.

Neither of them were shy about the night before. They had both enjoyed it, and she hadn't had any flashbacks during the actual act, either.

"I love you." She said to Draco.

"I know." He replied.

"No... I really love you," she started crying. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along." She said. "You saved my life." Hermione trailed off.

Draco's heart almost broke, seeing Hermione like this. He gathered her up in his arms.

"You saved me too." He whispered into her hair. "More then you know."

dhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdh

The next detention with Snape was less traumatic. He just had her scrub cauldrons again. She found that she enjoyed cleaning more then sharing her feelings with "The Bat Of The Dungeons."

The next day was a Friday, so they only had half a day of classes, and Draco and Hermione spent the second half of the day in Hogsmead, strolling around the village, drinking butterbeer, and buying school supplies. -Draco was all out of quills, and Hermione needed some ink, as well as a new copy of Hogwarts: A History. Her previous copy had been destroyed in one of her fathers drunken rages.

They were making their way back to the Castle, holding hands, when Ron, Harry, and Ginny walked up to them.

"Bloody hell, Hermione!" Ron sputtered. "I was right! You ARE boning the slimy ferret."

Ron didn't realize what had happened until his cheek was stinging quite badly.

Hermione had slapped him.

"Don't be an ass, Ron." She said scathingly.

"You aren't denying it?" Ginny asked incredulously.

Hermione looked down.

"Hermione! What's wrong with you? Ugh, just wait until my Mum hears about this! She had all these plans for you and Ron, and here you are, ruining them. With MALFOY. Of all people. The ferret. Hermione, look at him. He's albino! How could you _do _this to us?"

Ginny was bright red with fury.

Hermione looked at Harry who was looking down at his feet. "Well Harry," She said bitterly, "do you have anything to add? How about another round of how horrible a person I am for falling in love? Or about how much of a horrible person Draco is. He doesn't have the Dark Mark, just so you know. So you can stop your little investigation of him."

Harry looked up, a forced smile on his face. "Look Hermione, you can't help who you fall in love with. Sure, he wouldn't be my first choice...but... If you like him as much as you seem to."

Hermione stood there blinking at Harry. Of all people, she expected Harry to flip out about her and Draco.

Draco.

He hadn't said a word during the entire conversation.

She looked over to where he had been standing, and saw him hanging upside down in the air, a gag over his mouth.

While Ginny had been screaming at Hermione, Ron had jinxed him.

"Really Ron?" She asked, flaming mad, "mature much?"

She spoke the counter-curse to let Draco down.

Draco fell to the ground, then stood up quickly, brushing himself off, trying to save whatever dignity he had left.

Harry turned to Ron and Ginny, "I know you don't understand now, but you will one day. Ron, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't ditch a friend just because of who they love, and Ginny...Words cannot describe how disappointed I am in you. You can tell your Mum that I wont be coming back to the Burrow for Christmas, and that it's her own children's fault."

And leaving the Weasley children in dumbfounded shock, Harry, Draco and Hermione turned, and walked back to the castle.

dhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdh

A/N: ... UGH. I don't even know. My hard drive crashed last week when I was right in the middle of the most amazing chapter ever. I am so sorry guys. So here's this one. I put it together quickly cause I know you guys were waiting oh so patiently. I love your guys' reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words.


	8. Not Again

Hermione, Harry and Draco walked back to the Castle in silence. Hermione was trying to figure out why Ron was being such a jerk, Harry was thinking about his decision to cut the Weasley's out of his life, and Draco was still fuming about Ron jinxing him.

Hermione and Draco were laying in bed later that night, soft music playing, just enjoying eachother's company.

Draco had his head nestled in Hermione's hair, his arms around her waist. Hermione was tracing the scars on his left wrist. Draco sucked in a deep breath as she touched a fresh one.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his wrist.

Draco closed his eyes. Hermione looked up at him.

"Why do we do this?" She asked quietly.

"Hmm?" He asked, opening his eyes slowly.

"Why do we... harm ourselves. We've already had so much pain in our lives. Why cause more?"

Draco looked at her thoughtfully.

Hermione continued. "I mean, it feels good...great...wonderful, when I do it. But later... I look at my scars with disgust. I don't … I don't know.."

Draco opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione cut him off.

"It doesn't even feel that amazing until the day after. That sting when I touch them. It feels amazing. Whenever I stop for a few days. I long for that feeling. Of the day after. The sharp pain that I feel. It reminds me that I'm alive. There's no other feeling like it. I miss it. As wrong as that sounds.."

Draco stroked her hair, "no," he started, "it doesn't sound wrong. I know exactly what you mean. I try to resist it. But it just feels too good..." He trailed off.

Hermione nodded. She turned to face him, she had tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Draco."

He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her,

"Shh, it's fine. I'm here love, I'll never leave, I promise. I love you. It'll be okay." He whispered.

"No, Draco, it's not going to be okay." She started again, pulling away. "Please don't hate me... But I have to tell you this, while I'm .. I .. I'm so.. So thankful that you came in when you did, you know, the first week of school? You have no idea.. What I was going to do..."

Draco looked at her with a pained expression on his face. He too pulled back. They sat on opposite sides of the bed now. Legs crossed. Hermione looked down into her lap, Draco was staring at Hermione.

Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Was she going to commit suicide that day that he walked in on her? Had he really come that close to loosing her?

"Hermione." He said shakily, half wanting to know, and half not wanting to hear her answer. But he needed to know.

"Hermione," he began again, "were you going to commit suicide? Were you going to … kill yourself?"

Hermione didn't look at him. She continued to stare down at her lap.

"It doesn't matter anymore." She whispered. "It's over now.."

"It is not over, Hermione." Draco said worriedly. "It's never over. You need to tell me. So I can help you."

Hermione glared. "No-one can "help" me. I'm screwed up, and you can't fix me."

Draco looked at her in disbelief. Did she really feel this way? Did she really think that she was that messed up? He wanted to help her. He needed to help her. Why couldn't she see that he needed her just as much as she needed him? He wouldn't be able to live without her.

"Hermione." He began slowly. "Hermione. You understand that if you did kill yourself, it would be permanent... That you couldn't just change your mind and come back? No matter how much you wanted to. That .. I can't live without you..."

Hermione finally looked up. "No." She said. "Don't say that. You lived without me before. You can live without me now."

"Hermione..." Draco paused. "Wait.. What did you mean I can live without you now? I can't and I wont. Because you're not going anywhere."

Draco could see that his words weren't sinking in. That he wasn't getting anywhere. She looked back down at her lap, he could see tears dripping down her face. He felt bad doing this, but she had to understand the level of his feelings towards her.

"If you kill yourself," he said finally. "I'll kill myself too."

Hermione looked up. "No!" She shouted. "No. I wont let you."

"You'd be dead." He said blankly. "You wont be able to do anything about it."

Hermione launched herself forward into his arms. "Please Draco." She sobbed, "please don't. Please. I love you. I wont do it, I promise. Just please. Don't."

His strong arms circled around her and he pulled her close, breathing in the scent of her hair and rubbing his hands up and down her back.

"Shh," He whispered, "I'm not going anywhere as long as you don't. Shhh, it'll all be fine, it's fine love. It's going to be okay. I love you."

He continued whispering soothing things in her ear as she continued to cry.

"I'm sorry." She said through her tears, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

"Hey," Draco said gently, "hey, it's fine. I love you. Everything's going to be okay. I promise."

And for a few weeks it was okay. Hermione didn't get anymore detentions, but both Severus and Draco continued to watch her, concerned for her safety. Severus also watched Draco. He saw how much he cared about Hermione, and he saw how much Hermione cared about Draco. It was good for them, he decided. They both had at least one person who loved them. And for now, that was all they needed.

Draco and Harry were actually getting along. They looked past their differences, and focused on the two things they had in common. Quidditch and Hermione. They became... Friends. Hermione enjoyed watching them argue about which broomstick went faster, or which plays were most effective to beat the other team.

One day, when they were having one of their petty, but friendly, arguments about which team was better, Hermione walked up to them and kissed Draco on the forehead.

"Babe," she smiled, "I'm going to go to the library."

Draco looked up from laughing at something Harry had said and nodded. "Are you okay to go by yourself?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She said, rolling her eyes. "I'm just going to the library, don't worry so much."

Draco smiled. "Okay, have fun." He leaned up and gave her a quick peck on the lips, then turned back to Harry.

"Now, where was I? Oh yes. We clearly have the better team." He said haughtily.

"So that's why you haven't won a game yet?" Harry asked, his eyebrows raised. "That makes perfect sense."

Hermione walked out of the common room shaking her head, and started walking towards the library.

As she meandered through the halls, Hermione had a small smile on her face. The last few weeks had been amazing. Harry was really a great friend and had put his differences aside in order to get along with her boyfriend, which he didn't have to do. Just accepting them was enough for her. But this made her beyond happy. Things were going so good, that looking back, she had to have known something bad was going to happen.

She was almost to the library when she heard soft footsteps behind her. She turned around, but there wasn't anyone there.

Odd. She thought. But ignored it, and continued walking.

They started again. She turned around and saw Ron staring at her. A strange look on his face.

"Oh." Hermione said, startled, "I didn't see you before...Hey."

"Hello." Ron said eerily.

"H..How are you?" She asked. She was starting to get a little freaked out. She recognized his expression, but she couldn't pinpoint where exactly she knew it from.

"I'm good." He said slowly. "What about you Hermione. How are you."

"I'm g-good." She stuttered a little.

He walked forward and she stumbled back into a wall.

"Don't be scared Hermione." Said Ron, taking her face in his hands. The leery look was back.

Hermione's heart thudded in her chest, she remembered. That was the same look her father had right before he-

Ron pushed Hermione into the wall and roughly kissed her.

Hermione struggled, trying to break free, but Ron was too strong for her.

One of his hands traveled down to the waistband of her pants, and the other molested her chest. His lips were still on hers, she tried to scream, but he took the hand off her chest and smacked her across the face.

She fell silent. Tears dripping down her cheeks.

_Not again. Not again. Please not again._ Kept going through her head. _Not again. I thought this was over. Help me. Help me somebody, please._ She thought.

Ron took out his wand and put a silencing charm on her. Then he dragged her to a nearby classroom. Hermione stopped struggling, she knew it was pointless.

He threw her down on the floor and climbed on top of her, unbuttoning her pants as he did so. She started crying again. He ignored her tears and unbuttoned his own pants.

"You want this, Hermione." He sneered, "you know you do. You don't want the slimy ferret. You want me. I'm better then him, Hermione. You know it. I know it."

Hermione shook her head.

Ron viciously slapped her. "Agree with me, dammit! It'll be much worse for you if you don't."

Hermione stopped crying. Her eyes went blank. She had managed to go to her place again. The same place she went when her father was the one raping her.

When Ron finished violating her. He hit her one more time for good measure, and stood up, wiping himself on her robes. He took the silencing charm off her.

"Tell anyone about this, and I'll kill you, Hermione. You understand me?"

Hermione nodded. Still not making a sound.

"Do you understand me?" He asked again, walking towards her, his wand drawn.

"Y-yes." She forced out.

"Good." He muttered, walking out of the room.

Hermione curled up into a ball and sobbed. She couldn't believe it had happened again. She had let it happen again.

After a few minutes she stood up, ignoring the pain. And taking out her wand, she conjured up a mirror. She winced at her reflection.

Hermione cast a few concealment charms over her bruises and a healing spell on her split lip.

She walked out of the abandoned classroom and towards the library. Trying not to think about what had occurred over the last hour. She wished she had let Draco or at least Harry come with her. Maybe then this wouldn't have happened. But it might have happened at a later time... She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the memories.

She walked into the library, grabbed the first book she found and walked out again.

She made her way quickly back to her dorms. Trying to figure out what she was going to tell Draco. Ron had told her not to tell anyone. But how could she not?

She whispered the password to the portrait, braced herself. And walked into the common room.

Draco and Harry looked up from their discussion.

"Hey!" Draco said happily, standing up and walking towards her, "we were starting to worry something happened. How was the library?"

Hermione shrank back a little as Draco pulled her into a hug, but then told herself that it was just Draco, he wasn't going to hurt her.

Yeah, she thought, that's what I thought about Ron too.

Draco noticed something was off about Hermione.

"Hermione?" He asked hesitantly. "Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

She shook her head, cleared her throat and said, looking down at her feet "no, nothing happened, I'm just .. tired.. I'll.. see you later...I love you." And walked up the stairs to her dorm, closing the door softly behind her.

Draco looked up after her. Then he turned to Harry. "Do you think something happened?"

Harry too was looking at Hermione's door. "She was acting a little strange..." He said thoughtfully. "But maybe it's nothing."

"Yeah..." Muttered Draco, "maybe.."

Hermione turned on some music and started crying again. She couldn't handle this. She couldn't go through that happening again. And she knew that Ron wasn't going to stop with just one time. He was going to do it again, and again and again. There was only one thing she could do.

Downstairs, Harry said goodbye to Draco, he had to finish a potions essay and look up some Herbology facts in the library.

Hermione took out a sheet of parchment and a quill and started writing.

**_Dear Draco,_**

**_I am so, so sorry that I'm doing this to you. But I'm just not strong enough. I tried. Really I tried. The last few weeks were amazing. But today... When I was on my way to the library, I ran into Ron. He raped me Draco. And I know that he's not just going to stop there. He is going to continue until the day I die. He told me that if I told anyone what he did, he'd kill me. And I don't want him to kill me. I want to have control over me. So I'm choosing for that day to be today. I don't want to hurt you anymore Draco, that's why I'm doing this. Please don't kill yourself. You deserve to live and be free of me and my screwed up self. I hope you find someone out there worthy of you._**

**_I love you._**

**_Never forget that._**

**_Thank you for making the last few months the most amazing months of my life._**

**_All my love,_**

**_Hermione_**

She left the note on her desk, the ink drying. She started crying again. Damn Ron and his stupid actions. She sighed. She knew what she had to do now. There was no backing out.

Hermione took out her knife and sat on her bed, she looked around at her room, picked up her wand, and changed the music.

_"Don't look at me…_

_Mmmmmmm, oohhh. Mmm, ahhh, mmm._

_Every day, is so wonderful, and suddenly, it's hard to breathe. Now and then, I get insecure. From all the pain. I'm so ashamed. I am beautiful, no mater what they say, words can't bring me down._

_I am beautiful, in every single way, yes words can't bring me down, oh no. So don't you bring me down, today. Mmmmm. Mm. To all your friends, you're delirious, so consumed…"_

She started crying. She didn't want to do this, but she had to.

She changed the song again.

_"I need another story, something to get off my chest. My life gets kind of boring, need something that I can confess, till all my sleeves are stained red, from all the truth I said…"_

Hermione took the knife and slashed her wrist with it. She felt the blood pooling on her bed, she took the knife in her other hand. There was a lot of blood. It was warm. She felt faint. She slashed her other wrist. She dropped the knife and laid down.

Draco looked up from the fire. He smiled. He'd heard those songs before. When him and Hermione first opened up to eachother. When Hermione was going to-... his blood ran cold.

He leaped up and took the stairs three at a time. Hoping he wasn't walking in on his worst nightmare.

He there open the door and stood there in disbelief. Hermione was lying on her bed, blood pouring out of her wrists. A note on her otherwise empty desk.

Hermione looked at the blurry figure in the doorway.

"I love you Draco." She whispered as she closed her eyes. She smiled. Darkness enveloped her.

"No!" Draco shouted. He ran over to her and whispered spells, sewing up her cuts. He stood over her for what felt like hours, but in reality was only about fifteen minutes, preforming a blood-transfusion spell. Taking blood from his body, and putting into hers. He felt her wrist for a pulse. It was faint. But it was there.

"Oh thank god." He breathed a sigh of relief.

He spoke cleaning charm and all the blood she had spilled was siphoned off the bed. He laid down next to her in the bed, pulling her close.

"You scared me, Hermione." He whispered. "I love you so much. Don't you ever do that ever again."

He looked around the room, and taking out his wand, he turned off the music. His eye caught the note on her desk again.

"Accio note." He said.

It flew over to him, and he read it.

Each word filling him with a sad fury.

He was going to murder Ronald Weasley. How dare he drive his Hermione to do what she almost succeeded in doing.

By the end of the note, Draco was crying.

He threw it aside and pulled Hermione closer to him. Breathing in the smell of her hair.

He couldn't believe how close he had gotten to loosing her.

He was so glad that he had run up there as fast as he did. A minute later and she would have been gone..

He snuggled down next to her and felt her pulse again. It was getting stronger. He smiled. He was glad Severus had taught him the transfusion spell.

He relaxed and soon he had fallen asleep next to her.

Hermione woke up groggily. Her wrists hurt like the dickens and she felt dizzy.

She looked next to her and saw that Draco was fast asleep, his arms were wrapped around him. She gathered that she had failed in her suicide attempt, and sagged down onto the pillows. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She was never going to escape Ron. He was going to win. And she was going to be broken again. She was going to fall into the dark and twisty hole of despair that Draco had pulled her out of.

"Fuck." She muttered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck... FUCK." She screamed, rubbing her hands over her face. "Dammit Draco." She sobbed. "Why did you have to save me, why."

Draco woke up with a start at the sound of his name.

Hermione saw that he was awake and turned to him. "Why did you do this?" She asked, hysterically "why did you save me?" She started hitting him with her small fists. He pulled back, in shock.

"Hermione-" he began, "calm down."

"Calm down?" She cried, "calm down?"

"Okay.. Okay.. You don't have to calm down..." He was confused.

She pushed him off the bed. He fell to the floor with a soft "oomph."

She jumped down after him, and straddling him she continued to hit him, sobbing.

"Why didn't you just let me die?" She whispered. "I just want to die...Just let me die." She collapsed on top of him. All of the energy had left her suddenly. And she felt beyond tired.

Draco sat up and gathered Hermione in his arms, pulling her back up onto the bed.

"Shh," he whispered softly, stroking her hair, his face close to hers. "Shh, it's going to be okay love, it'll all be okay. You'll see. Everything will be fine. I'm not going to let you die. Everything is going to be fine."

Hermione drifted to sleep in Draco's arms. Exhausted.

A/N: I thought it was good... I spent a straight day writing this. I liked it. I hope you do too. It's longer then usual. I know Hermione's been through a lot. But uh...yeah I dunno. I wanted to bring her and Draco a little closer and give you guys a legit reason to hate Ron.


	9. It's Going To Be Okay?

A/N: Sorry for the wait, I got super busy with work and school. Here's some more! (:

Previously on These Wounds Wont Seem To Heal: "Shh," he whispered softly, stroking her hair, his face close to hers. "Shh, it's going to be okay love, it'll all be okay. You'll see. Everything will be fine. I'm not going to let you die. Everything is going to be fine."

Hermione drifted to sleep in Draco's arms. Exhausted.

-

Hermione blearily opened her eyes again. She sat up and looked around. She was alone. Draco was gone. She knew that while he was around, she wouldn't be able to kill herself, but he was gone. She knew he had already read the letter, he knew what happened. Ron had told her that if she told anyone he would kill her. And she had told Draco. So to keep Ron from killing her. She had to kill herself. And she would succeed this time.

She got out of bed and crept towards her desk drawer where she kept the rest of her knifes. She picked one up, and twisted it around in her fingers, smiling serenely. Soon it would all be over. She wouldn't have to worry anymore. Draco could live his life without a broken shell of a girl.

Just as she was putting the knife to her wrist, Draco opened the door and walked in. Hermione looked up in shock, dropping the knife as she did so.

Draco stood in the doorway, a broken look on his face. He shook his head and walked over to Hermione, picking up her knife and banishing it with a flick of his wand.

"Hermione..." He whispered.

"Don't." She breathed.

When he had walked into the room, and she saw that look on his face. She finally realized that he couldn't live without her. And killing herself, would ruin him more then it was worth.

"Draco..." She started. "Draco... I am... So sorry.."

"Hey," he whispered. "It's fine.. I understand."

Hermione nodded. She wanted to say more. To convey to him how much she loved him and how sorry she was, but she couldn't find the right words.

He walked forward and wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed.

"I'm sorry.." She choked through tears.

"Babe," he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead, "I understand. I've been where you are right now, and I'm here to help you. I love you."

She slowly calmed down enough for him to take a deep breathe and mutter, "we're going to have to talk about this, you know."

"I know." She whispered.

"So.." He trailed off.

"I'm sorry." She said again. "can we just leave it at that?"

"No," he said firmly, "we need to have a serious conversation."

"Alright." She relented.

They sat cross-legged on her bed and stared at eachother.

"So I guess I'll start." Draco said slowly.

Hermione nodded.

"When I came in and saw you laying there dying. It broke me more then you will ever know. It hurt me so deeply that you would choose the easy way out instead of coming to me. I just want you to understand the seriousness of what almost happened. You. Would. Have. Died. And I would be stuck here without you. It's selfish. I know. Because I want you for my own. Because you ground me, and help me, I love you. And I need you. Please don't do it again... Please."

Hermione couldn't look at him, she was too ashamed.

"Hey," he said softly, "I'm just trying to be honest, it will help us in the long run. We need to do this babe."

"So I can be totally honest and you wont mind?" She asked tentatively.

"Yes." He said hesitantly.

"I hate it when you shut me out. I'm not your father. I wont hurt you. I love you. And.. That's it." She burst out.

He looked hurt for a moment then nodded.

He pulled her into a hug and they held eachother for a few minutes.

"I have an idea, but you're not going to like it." He said slowly.

She pulled away and looked at him. "What is it?" She asked. She was starting to get lightheaded again.

"I think we should throw away our knives and make a promise to never cut again if we can help it, and when we feel like we need to, no matter what time of day it is, what class we're in, where we are, even if we break up, we go to eachother and talk. Just talk about why we feel the need to. I think it would really help us."

She looked horrified. "I can't do that." She said flatly. "it's the only thing I-.. I can't do that."

"You need to do this." He said sadly, "and so do I."

She looked down at her lap. "I know...It's just hard, you know?"

"I do," he nodded.

She thought for a moment and looked at her bandages. She never wanted have to go through this again. She wanted to be better.

"I'll do it." She said.

Draco looked surprised. "Alright, how does right now sound?"

She took a deep breath. "Lets do it now before I change my mind."

He nodded, "that sounds good."

She stood up slowly and walked to her desk and pulled out two more knives from her drawer, one from her stationary box, and one from a secret drawer at the back of her desk. then she walked over to her trunk and dug out two more.

Draco wasn't surprised. He too had a lot stored around his room incase someone found one of them.

She walked back over to her bed and pulled another one form under her bed and her last one from under her mattress.

Hermione dumped the knives on her bed and Draco conjured up a leather bag for them. He then went into his room and grabbed all of his knives from similar places in his own bedroom.

He dumped them into the bag with hers and they stood up together to walk down to the lake.

~~~~~~

A/N: Sorry it took me so long. I'll try to update sooner next time. I hope you enjoyed it.


	10. When Everything Seems Fine It's Not

A/N: Sorry this took me so long, I wrote about half of this chapter, then my computer shut down and I lost it. So again, I'm sorry. Here's some more.

-

"addiction; The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity."

Hermione and Draco started walking down to the lake, both in a sombre mood. Draco wanted to talk more about what happened, but he didn't want to cause Hermione to change her mind about quitting. Because it really was the best thing to do for the both of them.

On their way down to the lake, they stumbled upon Severus Snape. He was deep in thought, and not paying attention and he literally ran into Hermione. She gasped and stumbled backwards, a wave of dizziness catching her off guard as well as Snapes weight.

Draco's arm shot out to wrap around and steady her. She looked at him gratefully and smiled slightly. Severus didn't miss the exchange between them, and he also didn't miss the fact that Hermione's wrists were wrapped with gauze underneath her long sleeve shirt.

"I am so sorry," he started, "I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking-..."

He trailed off, then continued. "Are you okay, Miss Granger? I think I might have knocked you off balance a bit, could you join me in my office for a moment please?"

Draco opened his mouth to object, but Hermione "shushed" him. He glared petulantly and followed them to the dungeons.

Snape motioned Draco to wait outside of his office and gestured Hermione to sit down at one o his plush chairs in front of his desk.

"So Miss Granger," he began. "I noticed that you looked a little bit dizzy earlier. And I know it wasn't because I ran into you, and again, I am very sorry about that."

Hermione shrugged, "I don't know, you just caught me a little off guard is all." She looked uncomfortable, and he noticed that she tugged on her sleeves a bit.

"Would you mind if I took a quick look at your wrists, Miss Granger?"

"Hermione." She said.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I believe I asked you to call me Hermione."

"Right. Excuse me, Hermione." He said, somewhat awkwardly. "Now let me take a look at those wrists of yours."

She sighed and rolled up her sleeves.

Snape gasped. Hermione didn't see the problem, until she too looked down at her arms. The gauze Draco had wrapped her wrists with before was now soaked in blood and looked slightly gruesome.

Snape summoned some potions from his supply closet, as well as a roll of gauze, then took her wrists in his hands and, using his wand, un-wrapped it slowly.

He shook his head sadly when he saw the severity of the cuts.

"It was an accident." Hermione said quickly, seeing the look on his face.

"Do not lie to me, Hermione." He said sharply. "This was no accident."

She looked down, ashamed.

Snape shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said, applying some anti-bacterial potion to the cuts, and pouring out a portion of a pepper-up potion. "Here, take this," he said, handing her the spoon.

She winced when steam blew out of her ears, but she noticed that she felt much better.

"Thank you, Severus," she whispered. "And.. I'm sorry. I know I promised that I wouldn't do this.. I just.. I don't know what I was thinking.. I.. I'm sorry." She said again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked slowly, sitting down again, and banishing his supplies.

"Not really," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Hermione," he said, concerned, "what happened?"

"Ron." She choked out.

At that point, Draco decided that they were taking too long, and burst through the dungeon doors.

"What's going on?" He asked impatiently.

"Hermione was explaining to me why she did what she did." Snape said slowly.

Draco looked at Hermione's wrists and saw that they were freshly bandaged.

"Thanks." He said uncomfortably.

"For what?" Severus asked confusedly.

"For fixing her bandages. I wasn't sure what I did was going to help. I was just so scared. I.." His voice broke, and Hermione once again looked down at her lap.

"I'm so sorry, Draco." She sobbed.

"Don't be." He said fiercely, pulling her into his arms. "It's not your fault. It will never be your fault. He's the stupid pig who-.." He stopped, too mad to even continue.

Snape looked at them both. Not sure what exactly was going on.

Draco saw that Snape was still confused, so he motioned to him to take his pensive out.

Then he withdrew the memory of Hermione's suicide and reading the letter out of his head, and put it in the pensive for Severus to read.

-

Ten minutes later, Severus was just as mad as Draco. Why would anyone do that to a human being. he didn't even want to see the memory form Hermione's point of view like he was going to ask. It was just too horrible.

"I'm going to talk to Albus about this," he assured Draco.

Then, turning to Hermione, he said "you need to go to the hospital wing, right now."

"But-" the afor-mentioned girl started,

"no buts," Severus said sternly. "You're going, right now."

Hermione glared, but followed him sullenly to Madam Pomfrey's office.

-

Madam Pomfrey had seen many things in her long life, but ones best friend raping the other. That she had never seen. She'd never seen a girl as young as Hermione try to commit suicide. She's never seen anyone cut themselves because they were going through so much pain. She'd never seen a father, someone who was supposed to be there to protect their daughter, rape a child as many times as Hermione had been.

She didn't know how she had missed all of that. She had seen the girl in the hospital wing many times, but nothing as serious as what had happened to her.

"Hello there dear," she said in what she hoped was a motherly tone.

Hermione half smiled at her.

'Poor dear,' she thought, looking over her wounds sadly.

"Take some of this," She said out-loud, spooning up a portion of a potion made specifically to make the patient drowsy enough to fall asleep.

"Thanks," Hermione said, swallowing the potion without complaint, despite it's bitter taste.

-

Three hours of blissful sleep later, Hermione awoke to arguing.

"No, I don't think we should tell her."

"She deserves to know."

"She'll just hurt herself again. I can't take that."

"Stop being so selfish."

"It's not even about me anymore, she wont be able to take it either. She'll succede again. Do you really want that?"

Hermione kept her eyes closed, hoping to hear what they were so worried about her knowing.

"Look," Draco said. "It's a mistake. You know how it happened. She wouldn't want to keep it anyway."

Hermione's eyes flew open and she gasped, sitting up quickly.

"Please tell me I'm not pregnant." She said, looking at Draco, her eyes pleading.

"Hermione-" he started. Looking at Madam Pomfrey and Snape for help.

"Please." She begged, tears dripping down her face. "Please."

The look on his face told her all she needed to know.

"No." She said, disbelieving. "I don't... No. It's not possible. It's.. It's not. Ron only r-...did what he did yesterday. It's not possible. It's not. It would have to be my f-.." She stopped and all the blood drained from face.

"No," she whispered. "Not again. I can't do this again. Oh god. Draco. Please just let me go. I can't do this again. Please."

Draco was crying silently now, seeing her in this much distress. He couldn't stand it.

"Hermione," he breathed, pulling her into his arms and hugging her tightly as she sobbed, "we'll get through this. You'll be okay. It will all be okay."

Hermione's sobs slowly turned into hiccups, and Severus and Madam Pomfrey retreated into her office to discuss matters.

"Hermione-" Draco started.

"I want an abortion." She interrupted.

"What?" He asked.

"I don't want this thing growing inside of me, it's my fathers for Merlins sake. I can't do this. Draco, don't make me do this."

"I wont make you do anything you don't want to do babe, I love you. And if an abortion is what you really want, then we'll figure it out. I love you."

"I love you too," she said, smiling through her tears.

-

A/N: Hey guys, sorry this took so long, I've been really busy with school and work, but here you go! 


	11. You too?

A/N: Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews, I've tried to individually reply, but I can't keep up with that and updating and school and work and everything, so I'm going to give one big THANK YOU to everyone! = ) you guys make me smile so much and make my day so much better, even if the review only says "great job" or "nice" or "i like it" it makes my day. so thank you! As you can see, I used some of your suggestions (you know who you are = )) Also, I noticed that there are a few errors in my last chapter, sorry about those, I was so excited about posting it I guess I didn't go over it as many times as I usually do. So sorry again, and here's some more. Also sorry about the super long A/N. Anyways, on with the story, enjoy!

-

*Three days later*

-

Draco tossed and turned is his bed, memories of his father plaguing his dreams. Screams, shouts and tears escaped him as he lay there deep in sleep, unable to wake up.

Hermione woke up in a cold sweat, she wasn't sure what it was but something was wrong. Her first thought was Draco. She threw her comforter off of her legs, sprinting out of bed and tripping over her bedroom slippers. She cursed quietly and bolted out of the room. Hermione ran through the bathroom they shared, across the cold tile floor, and hammered on the hardwood door connecting them.

No answer. Hermione wimpered.

She listened at the door for a moment and heard faint moaning and crying.

Hermione threw all of her weight against the door and it sprung open, stumbling slightly, she peered into the dark room.

There was Draco, tangled up in his sheets, sweating profusely and obviously having a nightmare. She imagined that this was what she looked like almost every night, after memories of her father- his father.

She ran over to the bed, avoiding a discarded pair of vans, and started shaking him softly, trying to wake him up, it wasn't working. He was still fast asleep. She shook him, smacked him, she even punched him. But nothing worked. The only thing she could think of to do was to call Harry.

She took one last look at the shaking form under a pile of blankets and bolted back into the common room and starting a fire with a flick of her wand, she threw some floo powder into it and the flames turned green. She stepped through into the Gryffindor common room, coughing slightly and making a disgusted face. She hated flooing places.

"Harry!" She yelled, running into the boys dormitory, "Harry! Wake up, I need your help!"

The other boys started to stir, and Hermione scolded herself. She didn't need all of Gryffindor to wake up and demand to know why she was there. So Hermione took her wand out once more and cast a silencing charm on Harry's bed curtains, containing her voice.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" She shouted into his ear.

Harry awoke with a start, Hermione's shrill voice piercing into the sweet dream he was having about his mother, in the dream she had been leaning over his cradle with his father and Sirius, and she was singing him a lullaby.

He started dozing off again, and then-

"HARRY!" Hermione yelled in his face.

He sat up, shocked, and in his haste, bonked heads with Hermione.

"Ouch!" She muttered, scowling slightly.

"What?" Harry groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"It's Draco," she pleaded. "I need you, please come."

Harry, sensing the urgency in her voice, was wide awake at once. He swung his legs off his bed, throwing his covers to the side.

"What's wrong?" He asked, worriedly.

"He's having a nightmare and I can't wake him up, and I got scared... Can you help me?"

Now that she was saying it aloud, it sounded a bit lame, but at the time it really worried her.

Harry had experience with nightmares, and sometimes they weren't just about spiders or test scores. Sometimes they were about actual nightmarish things. Sometimes things like reality.

Harry shuddered as he pulled on his dressing gown. "I understand," he nodded. "Lets go."

She smiled gratefully, and they ran down the stairs to the common room, heading towards the fireplace.

"Heads dorm!" Harry said quietly, grabbing a handful of floo powder and stepping into the fireplace, and in a flash he was gone.

Hermione did the same and not a minute later they were both rushing up the stairs to Draco's room, where the screams and shouts had gotten louder.

"Malfoy!" Harry yelled in his face, trying desperately to wake him up.

Tears were falling down Draco's face as he said softly, "no. Please don't. Please don't leave me."

Hermione looked down at Draco worriedly.

"Harry," she said quietly, "what are we going to do?"

"Aguamenti." Harry said clearly. A thick jet of water sprayed onto Draco's face. He started sputtering, but he was still asleep.

"I don't know." He said slowly, turning to Hermione. "I've never seen anyone this deeply asleep, did he take anything? Maybe a sleeping potion from Madam Pomfrey?"

Hermione nodded, "yeah, we're both taking them. After-.." She stopped, remembering that Harry had no idea what had happened.

"After what?" Harry asked, curiously looking at her.

"Nothing." She muttered, shaking her head. "Should we take him to Madam Pomfrey?"

Harry looked at her thoughtfully, scratching his head slightly. "Why are you guys taking sleeping droughts, Hermione?"

"No reason, really it's nothing." She tried to reassure him. But Harry wasn't buying it.

"Does it have anything to do with the fact that you cut yourself?" Harry asked suddenly.

Hermione froze. "What?" She asked breathlessly.

"Yes. I know. I've known for almost the whole year now, but I didn't know how to bring it up.. I wasn't sure if I was right. Until now. So why do you do it."

"I- I don't know what you're talking about." She said stubbornly.

"C'mon Hermione." Harry pleaded. "It's me. Harry. Just... Please."

She shook her head.

Harry looked at her for a moment. Then rolled up his own sleeves.

Hermione gasped.

"What? Harry? Why?"

Cuts crisscrossed and zigzagged all over his wrists, just like her and Draco. Just like them. But.

"Why?" She asked again.

Harry shrugged and pulled his sleeves back down.

"You tell me and I'll tell you."

Hermione scowled at him.

"Fine. I tried to kill myself because Ron raped me. And then Draco and Snape took me to the Hospital Wing and I found out I was pregnant with my fathers child, because he's been raping and abusing me for years, and I got and abortion and Draco and I have been finding it hard to sleep since then so Madam Pomfrey gave us both sleeping droughts to help us get full nights sleep so we can continue with our normal everyday life without being zombies..." She trailed off.

She hadn't meant to say all that.

Harry gaped at her, then everything sunk in. "Ron raped you?" He was furious.

"No, Harry, it's fine. Look everything's going to be okay. Just relax, look, we have to wake Draco up."

"How do you expect me to calm down?" He cried, "you. Were. Raped. By. Ron."

"I know this already!" She said furiously, "it happened to ME, remember? Not you. I've been trying to make my peace with it, so can we please just concentrate on the task at hand, and wake up Draco. Please." She pleaded.

Harry sighed and rubbed his hands over his face in a tired motion. "Fine." He agreed. "Lets go get Madam Pomfrey."

"Thank you." She breathed.

–

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long. I just started college classes and a new job. So It's gonna be rocky for a while. BUT, the classes I started include ENG101, so lucky you guys. I'll be a better writer. =) I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter. Thanks!


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